I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
