I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
im on a boat
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