Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
