Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
