I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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