I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
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They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
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The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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