you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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