I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
