I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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