3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
