We're like a lot better than the average bears
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
