I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
