he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I am one with the molecules
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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