Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
