K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
