My liver just broke up with me...
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
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