I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Your cock deserves a montage
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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