It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
