Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
