Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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