He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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