I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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