Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
