i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
