it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
