New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Floor bacon is actually really good
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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