so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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