It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
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