Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
