Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
