before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
