would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
