Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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