just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
