i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
