This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize