Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
