There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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