She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
