Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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