Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
