What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
