On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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