Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
