I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
