But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
