dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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