Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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