you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
