Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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