remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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