Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My feet surprised me
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
