I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
