bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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