can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
