I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
