You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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