I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
