my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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