He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
