Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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