I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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