Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You may now shotgun with the bride
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
